I really don't know what I'm doing
I tried to start packing some of my things at Meghan's and I felt like I couldnt breath
I dont want to pack again
I dont want to live out of boxes
I dont want to live out of my car
I dont want to sleep on a couch
I dont want to sleep on an air mattress
I dont want to sleep in the baby's room
I dont want to be homeless
I dont want to feel like I've accomplished nothing

I really dont know what I'm doing
I have no earthly clue as to what is going to happen in the next year

I've only talked to Evan once in nine days. That kinda sucks. And I feel relaly alone. And I feel like this is too much to handle alone. the long distance thing wasnt that bad, we have an amazing relationship. but now that i actually kinda need him to be physically here, in person, for me, i know he cant do that. the sad part is that, and hes told me this, how his job is beneficial to both of us. an dhe does help me out a lot finanically. It's like I dont have a boyfriend though, hes not an active part of my life, i just have dibs on a life mate.
My friends have been nothing but darling to me.
I like the part timer im doing with hosting. I like that all my friends are working there too.

?It's decemeber and I just turned the a/c on.

I feel like shit today.

I hate my parents. but not as much as I used to.